Several
months ago when I was still actively working, my office held a gathering after
office hour in the office where employees should bring their families along.
There were food (off course), music, speeches and performances by the
employees.
My
office here is a small organization. It consists of only 30 something permanent
employees and another 30 something outsourced workers (most for the lower
jobs). Of the 30s permanent employees may be only half make nice payrolls. The
rests are not bad but not nice either, just decent.
So
it was not a glamorous event at all. I would rather say humble. However the
feeling was there. Families were enjoying the food, music, performances and
most of all the opportunity to come to a party.
What
touched me was seeing how the families of the security officers, messengers and
cleaning service team who made up half of the crowd really enjoyed the night.
They wore their best clothes, put on festive make up and brought all of their
kids in fancy clothes too. It looked like the event was so special to them. It
was like a very big and important party that everyone was waiting for.
Seeing
this made me feel pity for myself. Attending the event was just like an
obligation to me, no fun at all. I just had to be there so my boss would see me
and know I was a good employee. Deep inside I felt they were stealing my time
from my family even though my family was coming too. I just could not enjoy it.
All of this time I grew more and more complicated. I could appreciate only the
most sophisticated or the finest things. If it’s neither of them then it would
fail to make me happy. If it’s worse then I would simply call it tacky.
But
the scenery that night, of the glows on those people excited by the party, had
awaken me. I had been wasting many chances to enjoy myself and be happy. If
simple things can make other people happy, why should I torture myself denying
the chances? Why was I making my own happiness complicated and hard to get?
So
yesterday when we were waiting for our flight to Balikpapan in the airport,
when my maid was ecstatic to see a local celebrity and rushed to get a picture
with him, I instantly followed suit with no hesitation. It was my first picture
with a celebrity whose shows I didn’t even watch let alone fancy of. I was just
letting the feeling go and didn’t want to waste another chance to be happy
although in the past I would have called it tacky.
